Come with me and you’ll be in a world of perfect re-creation Take a look and you’ll see into perfect re-creation There is nothing in here that demonstrates imagination What we’ll see will defy explanation It started forty years ago when Halliday and Morrow Decided to create the simulation of tomorrow Pop culture in VR, they called it the OASIS (no black media though, it was a little bit racist) It was a hit, they were millionaires Everybody on the planet was buying their wares But one day, Halliday suddenly died His fortunes in an Easter egg hidden inside! Come with me and you’ll be in a world of perfect re-creation Take a look and you’ll see into self-gratification Doubled up self-inserts and egotistical narration It is plain that what we see is what Ernie longs to be Enter Wade, an urchin from the slums His obsession with the 80s helps him get things done Spent his days doing nothing in Aech’s chatroom Until a stroke of luck helped him find the tomb He jousted for the first key in the lich king’s crypt (Art3mis was there first but he gave her the slip) To a WarGames challenge, which he couldn’t fail Because Sorrento and the Sixers were hot on his tail! Come with me and you’ll be in a world of perfect re-creation There are worrying views on Japan’s population Honour-bound, tightly wound, interchangeable because they’re Asian Ernie please may I have an explanation? Four! months! later Wade thought he had a chance with Arty But she rejected his ass at Og’s birthday party She found the next key first, and Wade was ashamed He sold his sex robot and got back in the game Arcades, Black Tiger, guitars, Blade Runner Wade mastered them all like a superstar gunter He needed to figure out his plan of attack The last gate awaits in Castle Anorak! Living in a white nerd’s paradise Nothing to challenge or trump you No race relations there to stump you A girl who really means “yes” when she dumps you Come with me and you’ll be in a world of stolen information Breaching private boundaries, no fear of recrimination Saving pics of a girl (it’s implied they’re used for masturbation) Ernest needs a good hit of maturation Wade got himself captured, it was a minor hassle Cos he escaped. And headed to the castle The race was on, and he showed some hustle He won the Egg in the final puzzle It gave him godlike powers and financial bliss And he got a kiss from Art3mis Cos women are prizes to be won And that’s the story of Ready Player One! Hopefully, (hopefully) now you see, (now you see) such a literary abomination (ha-hah, ha-hah) These behaviours and deeds, I discourage imitation Just one look (just one look) in this book, (in this book) it may turn you to inebriation Looking back, you won’t see what the future needs to be Wade didn't learn anything! Aech was a black lesbian, didn't affect anythin'! Leave Art3mis alone! Don't forget the transphobia! Ernie Cline, post your location. I just wanna talk. Game over!